In the smash-hit movie The Hangover, some guys wake up in their hotel room after a night of debauchery. One of them goes to relieve himself. He hears a roar. There’s a tiger near the toilet tank! Turns out it’s Mike Tyson’s pet.

Naturally, Pop Omnivore wondered: What should you do if there is a tiger in the room? And, on a more serious note, do people really have pet tigers?

Here is what we learned from tiger experts Philip Nyhus, assistant professor of environmental studies at Colby College and co-editor of the forthcoming book Tigers of the World, and Louis Dorfman, animal behaviorist at the International Exotic Animal Sanctuary.

Being in a hotel room with a tiger is not a good thing. “An animal outside of his environment would be very edgy, very nervous, very agitated,” says Dorfman. (The same goes for a human outside of his or her environment, of course.) “Close the door,” Nyhus suggests, “and get a new room.”

Giving advice on what to do when confronted with a tiger is tricky. It depends on the tiger’s personality. And its mood. And whether it’s recently had a meal. “If it’s hungry, you’re in trouble,” says Nyhus. “A tiger is hardwired from more than 10,000 years of evolution to run after prey and grab them by the neck and crush the vertebrae.” Crouching down or crawling will make you look like food, as will running with your back to the tiger. “Walk backward slowly,” Nylus recommends. He also suggests putting distance and barriers between yourself and the tiger.

Tigers do not make good pets. “A good example of that is that every year, people who own and work with tigers get injured and killed,” says Nyhus. “It’s pure hubris to believe we can tame them.”

Yet there are people who want pet tigers. Sometimes it’s for the macho impact. “A tiger represents the ultimate in the wild world,” says Dorfman. “Those piercing eyes, that phenomenal beauty.” And sometimes people think they’re doing a good deed by raising one of these endangered animals, which probably number fewer than 5,000 in the wild. But keeping pet tigers does not further the cause of tigers. In fact, says Nyhus, “these tigers are of unknown genetic heritage and would never be used for conservation breeding programs. Nor would you return them to the wild. So you’re stuck with something that’s dangerous to people, not good for tigers, and [requires] an investment in enormous amounts of food” and veterinary care.

Laws forbidding the sale of tigers as pets haven’t halted the tiger trade. “There’s always people willing to sell you something,” says Dorfman. “If you can get drugs, you can get a tiger.”

—Marc Silver

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