I received a phone call last week from a grammar friend who was appalled to find this sentence in a National Geographic publication:
"When he invited my wife and I out to dinner with him and his fiancee,
I jumped at the offer."
Perhaps I’m more tolerant than my friend. I hear this overcorrection so frequently in speech, that I’m no longer appalled, just slightly annoyed. For those scratching their heads and wondering just what is the problem, lady, it's the first use of the pronoun I.
In the sample sentence, the object of the verb "invited" should be "my wife and me," the objective case—me, him, her, them. The second I is correct because it is a subject and rightly the nominative I —he, she, they.
The problem arises because we are so afraid of misusing an objective pronoun as a subject—him and me jumped at the offer—that we overcorrect and change a perfectly correct me to I. Overcorrection usually—but, alas, not always—happens when there is a noun coupled with the pronoun. If that noun confuses you, get rid of it and read the sentence without it: When he invited I out to dinner. Thanks for talking with I.
I’m too much of a lady to tell you how those two examples sound to my ear, but I hope you get the idea!
After I decided to write this blog about the misuse of the nominative I, examples leaped out from all directions.
• Luke Russert, whom I find to be an amazingly articulate and intelligent young
man, speaking on NBC about his father used “my mother and I” several times
as the object of prepositions when he should have said “for my mother and me”
and “to my mother and me.”
• An editor sent an email to a colleague saying,
"Thanks so much for taking a full hour to chat with Victoria and I.”
• And someone sent me an email that asked,
"Can you meet with Lynn and I tomorrow?"
So faithful readers, tune up your ears, listen to your colleagues, and, when necessary, gently remind them to use me as a direct object or as an object of a preposition.
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Comments
Jun 19, 2008 10AM #
Not so much a comment to this blog (a word I don't like) but to ask the following - when two are talking to each other and one says {where is it at} - my answer is "it is between the a and the t". Now I am being told that it is OK to say "where is it at".
What say thee??
Jun 19, 2008 10AM #
I think the "at" be redundant since the three words (Where is it?) clearly indicate the person is inquiring about the location AT which something is located.
As for the original article: I found it very interesting since it addresses such a common mistake. I think children are corrected so many times when they use an object pronoun in a subject or nominative position that eventually people's ears are trained to make "I" sound correct when another person's name or another pronoun is involved. Few people make the mistake when the pronoun "I" or "me" is going to appear alone in an object position.
Jun 19, 2008 10AM #
Lesley,
I hear the misuse of the word "I" repeatedly by tv anchors/reporters and other professionals. For me it is frustrating to hear educated people who are in the field of communications making this mistake. I believe to them it sounds proper but we know it isn't.
Thanks.
Jun 19, 2008 10AM #
Unlike saying something like, "There's way too many people on the subway car," where the mistake is one of carelessness, i.e., the number of the object catches the speaker off guard, the personal pronoun mistake is conscious and misguided, and consequently offends me more. The correct usage is governed by a simple, although abstract, rule, but somehow speakers have defaulted to a simpler, less abstract, incorrect rule. Ms. Reeder-Hunt is no doubt on the money. The Luke Russerts of the world will probably scold their otherwise bookish children for correct use of "me", alas.
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